LinzO: So I was like....dude, Ryan would love her. So Drew comes in to scope and we order lunch
LinzO: She starts haggling me about my veggie wedge I want to order saying they don't serve it after 11:30
LinzO: Ry, it was 11:42
Ryan: Haha
Ryan: Veggie wedge
Ryan: Give her a second shot!
LinzO: Like would. not. budge.
Ryan (your words)
LinzO: Seriously? I come in every morning ordering multiple drinks, fresh pressed OJ and you're busting my veggie wedge balls over 12 minutes?
LinzO: You may appreciate that sort of tenacity in a mate, I don't know
Ryan: Really you lost me at coffee shop.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I'm out of synonyms for "Win/Winning", help!
I knew when we started this competition driven blog that I was going to run out of ways to gloat; however, I didn't expect that time to come so quickly. To my doubters (AKA those who voted for Linz): You know her right? I presented empirical evidence of her heroin like addiction to talking on the phone along with the lack of self control to get to even step one in the recovery process. I don't know how to sway you any more; but believe me I will NOT stop trying. Until the next competition go ahead and wallow in your failure stew, and close your mouths while you're breathing.
I wanted to break down this competition with a (very) short analysis. We started this on Monday, Lindsey's first two calls were used that morning to speak with her doc. Now normally you would think, "Maybe we should forgive those two, I mean her doctor, that could be life threatening stuff". You would be incorrect in thinking that's how these calls went down, they were more like this:
Doctor: Lindsey, I'm afraid what you have is an inoperable attraction to shiny objects sickness, sorry.
Linz: Ooooooh, did you SEEEE Gossip Girl last night? Cuhrazy huh?!
Doctor: Well, no, but...This is quite serious, we want to perform a couple more tests...
Linz: Speidi is killing me right now! I don't think Massengill makes a bigger douche than them together.
Doctor:...
Understand that this is merely a representation of how the conversation went, 2 or 3 of the words may be interchangeable, and know that it went on for at least 15 minutes like this. The second phone call broke the superficial barrier and went right to Suri Cruise's new hairdo I'm sure.
As for me, I changed my number two months ago and I can count on two hands how many people have it (also I can count on two fingers how many people call it), I missed a couple calls (sorry Mom!), but surprisingly didn't lose any friends. I say "surprisingly" because I think 90% of my friends are just looking for that last straw to break the camel's back of our friendship.
This victory is bittersweet for me because having won last month, and consequently having listened to "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito 493 in succession, I could only listen to it once this month. I will now post the video for you, my loyal supporters. Don't feel guilty or embarrassed for listening to the whole thing, 4,000,000 YouTube viewers can't be--and aren't--wrong about how great this song is:
">
I wanted to break down this competition with a (very) short analysis. We started this on Monday, Lindsey's first two calls were used that morning to speak with her doc. Now normally you would think, "Maybe we should forgive those two, I mean her doctor, that could be life threatening stuff". You would be incorrect in thinking that's how these calls went down, they were more like this:
Doctor: Lindsey, I'm afraid what you have is an inoperable attraction to shiny objects sickness, sorry.
Linz: Ooooooh, did you SEEEE Gossip Girl last night? Cuhrazy huh?!
Doctor: Well, no, but...This is quite serious, we want to perform a couple more tests...
Linz: Speidi is killing me right now! I don't think Massengill makes a bigger douche than them together.
Doctor:...
Understand that this is merely a representation of how the conversation went, 2 or 3 of the words may be interchangeable, and know that it went on for at least 15 minutes like this. The second phone call broke the superficial barrier and went right to Suri Cruise's new hairdo I'm sure.
As for me, I changed my number two months ago and I can count on two hands how many people have it (also I can count on two fingers how many people call it), I missed a couple calls (sorry Mom!), but surprisingly didn't lose any friends. I say "surprisingly" because I think 90% of my friends are just looking for that last straw to break the camel's back of our friendship.
This victory is bittersweet for me because having won last month, and consequently having listened to "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito 493 in succession, I could only listen to it once this month. I will now post the video for you, my loyal supporters. Don't feel guilty or embarrassed for listening to the whole thing, 4,000,000 YouTube viewers can't be--and aren't--wrong about how great this song is:
">
Sunday, October 18, 2009
1st Is Worst, 2nd Is Best, 3rd Is The One With The Hairy Chest
Hey look ya'll, it's me up there ^^, forlornly clutching on to a fence next to the words 'The Art of Losing' because, welp, I lost Phone Challenge '09. As a recap, the challenge was first to make/take 3 calls or texts loses. VERY difficult. I took 2 calls from my doctor on Monday, and during a sleep deprived moment Saturday morning called my friend to wish him a Happy Birthday, temporarily forgetting about the newest battle I was embroiled in with Ryan.
Something you should know about me (other than that there is NO sunrise worth waking me up at 5:45am to go see) is that I hate losing. I technically lost on Saturday, but have been looking at pictures of pgymy hedgehogs, pigs in beds (usually with a swine flu joke attached, ahahahHA HA HA) and videos of teenagers losing their wigs over New Moon trailers to make myself feel better (in general and in life).
Ryan has proven himself to be quite the (hermetic, anti-social, reclusive) challenge partner, but through it all we remain steadfast friends, no matter what he says. The common brown forest fox does not have a lot in common with the artic snow fox, and yet they can be friends. America, are you watching?
To: Ryan, Fm: LinzO Part 2
(sigh) Kudos, Ryan. KUDOS. I tip my teeny tiny squirrel-sized fedora to you! (with understandably less enthusiasm then the first squirrel hat tip)
MSN Moment of the Day
Ryan: Gosh, my mind is still swimmy; this is probably what people from Enumclaw feel like all the time eh? I can actually tell I'm not on point, that I'm lacking some serious wit and intellect.
Ryan: And I have the hiccups.
LinzO: Are you trying to be witty and intellectual to chat with me, because I'm literally cleaning my nose right now with my finger and reading about Balloon Boy and his crazy family
Ryan: And I have the hiccups.
LinzO: Are you trying to be witty and intellectual to chat with me, because I'm literally cleaning my nose right now with my finger and reading about Balloon Boy and his crazy family
Friday, October 16, 2009
MSN Moment of the Day
Linz says:
Gosh people love me in the polls, don't they?
I'm like Obama and you're Kucinich
Ryan says:
People are idiots yes.
Gosh people love me in the polls, don't they?
I'm like Obama and you're Kucinich
Ryan says:
People are idiots yes.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
MSN Moment of the Day
Ryan says:
It's sooo windy here today
And blustery rainy action goin on.
Linz says:
It's rainy here too
I love windy Seattle days
So fun for biking or jogging
Ryan says:
Alone
It's sooo windy here today
And blustery rainy action goin on.
Linz says:
It's rainy here too
I love windy Seattle days
So fun for biking or jogging
Ryan says:
Alone
Monday, October 12, 2009
October Challenge: X & Y vs. The Phone
Cell phones. Can't live without 'em, and can't live without 'em. EVERYONE has a cell phone. The ability to keep in touch with family, business associates, access to email, and up-to-minute updates from TMZ.com make cell phones the must have item for modern society. Case in point: my 8 and 5 year old would clamor over Ryan when he would come over, not because they were excited to see him (let's not be crazy here) -but because they wanted to play games on his iPhone. Even kids younger than 5 get PlaySkools 'My First Cell Phone' along with pretend plastic keys to their Tonka Hummer.
This all begs the question: "How Did We As A Society Ever Survive Before Cell Phones?"
Uhhh, easy. Pagers? Pay phones? Actually, you know, WAITING to talk to the person? However, I must say I don't even know where to FIND said pay phones anymore--other than inside of a medium security penal institution (worst.boyfriend.ever). How much do payphones even cost now? $2.75? Do they have slots for credit cards?? So many questions--which I may end up finding the answer.
After a long process of elimination, Ryan and I have decided on our October Challenge. (yes, we're still talking even though I lost Recession Challenge '09-"Lindsey" is Yiddish for "one who forgives after monetary reimbursement").
OCTOBER CHALLENGE: Whoever Takes 3 Calls First Loses
The rules are really simple - no texting, no making calls or no receiving calls.
We get 3 life-lines, as I call it. 3 calls we are able to make or take.
We're able to check messages, but from now until someone reaches Unlucky #3 it's going somewhat old school. Using work phones(don't know if this even applies to Ryan. Watching kitten Youtube vids or Filipino prisoners dancing to 'I Want It That Way' does NOT constitute as work), IM'ing and emails.
All gloves are off and I've already had someone prank text him pretending to be from his bank and saying it's urgent he call them back. (To his credit, he didn't fall for it. Doubt he's the only American right now avoiding calls from their bank, am I right?)
As for me, I've been missing calls left and right today. Fortunately nothing that I can't just email or IM a response, but you know what? Bob doesn't take too kindly when he calls me for information and I don't pick up:
This all begs the question: "How Did We As A Society Ever Survive Before Cell Phones?"
Uhhh, easy. Pagers? Pay phones? Actually, you know, WAITING to talk to the person? However, I must say I don't even know where to FIND said pay phones anymore--other than inside of a medium security penal institution (worst.boyfriend.ever). How much do payphones even cost now? $2.75? Do they have slots for credit cards?? So many questions--which I may end up finding the answer.
After a long process of elimination, Ryan and I have decided on our October Challenge. (yes, we're still talking even though I lost Recession Challenge '09-"Lindsey" is Yiddish for "one who forgives after monetary reimbursement").
OCTOBER CHALLENGE: Whoever Takes 3 Calls First Loses
The rules are really simple - no texting, no making calls or no receiving calls.
We get 3 life-lines, as I call it. 3 calls we are able to make or take.
We're able to check messages, but from now until someone reaches Unlucky #3 it's going somewhat old school. Using work phones(don't know if this even applies to Ryan. Watching kitten Youtube vids or Filipino prisoners dancing to 'I Want It That Way' does NOT constitute as work), IM'ing and emails.
All gloves are off and I've already had someone prank text him pretending to be from his bank and saying it's urgent he call them back. (To his credit, he didn't fall for it. Doubt he's the only American right now avoiding calls from their bank, am I right?)
As for me, I've been missing calls left and right today. Fortunately nothing that I can't just email or IM a response, but you know what? Bob doesn't take too kindly when he calls me for information and I don't pick up:
MSN Moment of the Day
Linz says:
Shiz
This is gonna be tough
Ryan says:
Huh?
Linz says:
Our challenge
I feel like the Corn Challenge would've been easier a bit
Ryan says:
Not really much of a challenge there though, and as far as social relevance goes?
Plus if I ever go for political office I don't need racism AND corn poo to hold me back.
Shiz
This is gonna be tough
Ryan says:
Huh?
Linz says:
Our challenge
I feel like the Corn Challenge would've been easier a bit
Ryan says:
Not really much of a challenge there though, and as far as social relevance goes?
Plus if I ever go for political office I don't need racism AND corn poo to hold me back.
Phone Challenge '09
As evidenced by our previous "MSN Moment of the Day" post, Lindsey and I have frantically (>2 minutes a day brainstorming) been trying to come up with a new challenge to appease our massive readership. As you can see all of the ideas are really (really) stupid, and coincidentally all of the ideas are Lindsey's (Corn Challenge? WTF?!). Being that I'm very new to blogging and have the imagination of a creativity repressed communist, she is the idea factory, and I am the filter. However, one of us--I honestly don't remember which--finally came up with a new challenge that is a win-win for me, and absolutely crippling to Linz.
The challenge goes like this: The first person to make or receive three phone calls loses. Pretty basic right? We threw away the idea of a single elimination competition as it could end as quickly as it starts: Lindsey as an over coddling mother takes (emergency) call from her kids, weak, orrrr Ryan takes that call he's waiting for from Kate Beckinsale (or comparable other), awesome. The challenge applies to text messages as well. There are more T's and C's for this competition; however, for the life of me, I can't remember them. I'll let Linz go over the rest of the boring parameters for the challenge, she's better at it. I now have a great reason, documented by the never-lying interweb, to not talk on the phone, I can't imagine a better "challenge".
Now this competition is already off to a great start in the polls: 1 vote for Ry, 1 vote for Linz; this is amazing because we hadn't announced the criteria for the challenge before these votes were tabulated. I wonder who voted for me--Go Ryan!!1one11. Before you (the educated public) vote on this one, I suggest you take a look at this crude representation of how much Linz calls people/talks on the phone:
The challenge goes like this: The first person to make or receive three phone calls loses. Pretty basic right? We threw away the idea of a single elimination competition as it could end as quickly as it starts: Lindsey as an over coddling mother takes (emergency) call from her kids, weak, orrrr Ryan takes that call he's waiting for from Kate Beckinsale (or comparable other), awesome. The challenge applies to text messages as well. There are more T's and C's for this competition; however, for the life of me, I can't remember them. I'll let Linz go over the rest of the boring parameters for the challenge, she's better at it. I now have a great reason, documented by the never-lying interweb, to not talk on the phone, I can't imagine a better "challenge".
Now this competition is already off to a great start in the polls: 1 vote for Ry, 1 vote for Linz; this is amazing because we hadn't announced the criteria for the challenge before these votes were tabulated. I wonder who voted for me--Go Ryan!!1one11. Before you (the educated public) vote on this one, I suggest you take a look at this crude representation of how much Linz calls people/talks on the phone:
Sunday, October 11, 2009
MSN Moment of The Day
Linz says:
So where'd you land on the Showering Challenge?
Ryan says:
Hell no
Ryan says:
Get a job and we'll talk about it
Linz says:
Fine. Who Can Lose The Most Weight In A Week?
Linz says:
If we did gaining, I could just choose my period week and beat you without even having to work
Ryan says:
I can see me not eating for like 5 days to win this though.
Linz says:
I can see me ordering a Brazilian stomach parasite to win it
Linz says:
Who can eat the most corn until their poo is ACTUALLY CORN (pics required)?
Ryan says:
I don't even know where you came up with that, but I swear sometimes you have Down's
Linz:
I catch your affectionate tone
So where'd you land on the Showering Challenge?
Ryan says:
Hell no
Ryan says:
Get a job and we'll talk about it
Linz says:
Fine. Who Can Lose The Most Weight In A Week?
Linz says:
If we did gaining, I could just choose my period week and beat you without even having to work
Ryan says:
I can see me not eating for like 5 days to win this though.
Linz says:
I can see me ordering a Brazilian stomach parasite to win it
Linz says:
Who can eat the most corn until their poo is ACTUALLY CORN (pics required)?
Ryan says:
I don't even know where you came up with that, but I swear sometimes you have Down's
Linz:
I catch your affectionate tone
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Compensating
Things I bought when Recession Challenge 2009 was over:
1. Cinnamon Clove Bud Home Fragrance
2. Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin Foaming Hand Soap
3. 2 Cd's called 'P.S., I Love You' (on sale from $12.50 for $5!!)
4. Sushi
5. And this:
1. Cinnamon Clove Bud Home Fragrance
2. Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin Foaming Hand Soap
3. 2 Cd's called 'P.S., I Love You' (on sale from $12.50 for $5!!)
4. Sushi
5. And this:
MSN Moment of the Day
Ryan says:
I can't run around looking and smelling like ass.
My potential mates can leave me pretty easily, yours requires lawyers, court dates, and separation of assets.
I can't run around looking and smelling like ass.
My potential mates can leave me pretty easily, yours requires lawyers, court dates, and separation of assets.
Final Tally: WEEK 4
Legions of Fans,
Sorry we were so lax updating last week. Donatella Versace as my witness, I was waiting for Ryan to post his Week 4 totals so he wouldn't CHEAT when he saw my totals. Honest. So blame him. I do (as usual).
To the 23 people (not counting myself and my mom) who voted for me: I have some bad news. I underestimated Ryan's solitude and reclusive ways, clearly. Apparently next time I am to have this challenge, I need to choose someone with a similar social structure -- one that involves a little more than work, the occasional hike and waiting for Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' tickets to go on sale.
On to Week 4 Totals:
Subway: $3.00 (veggie sub)
Zen Sushi: $5.95 (lunch)
Borders: $2.80 (latte)
Total: $11.75
I admit, if I had come at Recession Challenge '09 like this out of the gate, Ryan would be shaking in his stained, ripped Hanes boxers. I heard it takes 2 weeks to become acclimated to something new (literally have heard this uttered, maybe even in jest, ONCE 10 years ago and continue to repeat this as fact).
Somehow, though, I still feel like a winner.(half heartedly thrusts fist in air)
I feel like it's made me more conscious about money, how I spend it, where and on what. There's so much more of a definitive 'Want vs. Need' mentality when I go to purchase something now. That has to be good, right?! If this economic crash and resulting recession has taught us anything, it's that people's mentalities have to change. The one with the most toys at the end of the day doesn't win. The one with the flies following him because he's not showering to conserve water does! Declining property values, increasing divorces, more people living in smaller spaces, immigration's slowing, less health insurance, blah blah blah....recessions are predictable. I, for one, am enjoying my stance on Frugal Mountain, ready to propel down CheapLikeWoah Cliffs.
Our social experiment may be over, but make no mistake - we are still in the midst of a hopeless, soul-sucking economic decline. 254,000 private sector job losses in September. Put that trend in your pipe and smoke it.
Sorry we were so lax updating last week. Donatella Versace as my witness, I was waiting for Ryan to post his Week 4 totals so he wouldn't CHEAT when he saw my totals. Honest. So blame him. I do (as usual).
To the 23 people (not counting myself and my mom) who voted for me: I have some bad news. I underestimated Ryan's solitude and reclusive ways, clearly. Apparently next time I am to have this challenge, I need to choose someone with a similar social structure -- one that involves a little more than work, the occasional hike and waiting for Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' tickets to go on sale.
On to Week 4 Totals:
Subway: $3.00 (veggie sub)
Zen Sushi: $5.95 (lunch)
Borders: $2.80 (latte)
Total: $11.75
I admit, if I had come at Recession Challenge '09 like this out of the gate, Ryan would be shaking in his stained, ripped Hanes boxers. I heard it takes 2 weeks to become acclimated to something new (literally have heard this uttered, maybe even in jest, ONCE 10 years ago and continue to repeat this as fact).
Somehow, though, I still feel like a winner.(half heartedly thrusts fist in air)
I feel like it's made me more conscious about money, how I spend it, where and on what. There's so much more of a definitive 'Want vs. Need' mentality when I go to purchase something now. That has to be good, right?! If this economic crash and resulting recession has taught us anything, it's that people's mentalities have to change. The one with the most toys at the end of the day doesn't win. The one with the flies following him because he's not showering to conserve water does! Declining property values, increasing divorces, more people living in smaller spaces, immigration's slowing, less health insurance, blah blah blah....recessions are predictable. I, for one, am enjoying my stance on Frugal Mountain, ready to propel down CheapLikeWoah Cliffs.
Our social experiment may be over, but make no mistake - we are still in the midst of a hopeless, soul-sucking economic decline. 254,000 private sector job losses in September. Put that trend in your pipe and smoke it.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sustainable spending habit changes?
I'd like to preface this entry with an apology: Lindsey has been super lazy with writing the final post for our competition, and I want to apologize on her behalf. This, you may think should not be an excuse for me to have not written MY final entry; however, I have my reasons: 1. Lindsey cheats, more on this later 2. I just properly used a colon and semicolon in the same sentence, please don't try this, you will fail. 3. Lindsey's laziness affects me negatively, it's very hard to pull people up, much easier for her to drag me down 4. I've been all jacked up on coke all week and couldn't actually write anything that had a semblance of continuity or humility, this is also Lindsey's fault. 5. Lindsey promised me that we'd both be on Larry King playing softball by this time for some huge scandal coming from our stardom as a result of our blog, she lied, I have received no phone calls from Larry's crew. You can see how all of these factors--all Lindsey's fault--could result in neglecting the blog.
I'm not going to spice this up with anything clever, or witty, I just want to say that I kicked Lindsey's ass. Unless she managed to spend negative money in the last week or so, she lost. To her supporters: You all knew the faster horse in this race would be me--you knew it, no need to lie to be nice--yet you still voted for the loser. What drives people to do this? This is the kind of lying to ourselves that put America in a recession in the first place. Do yourselves a favor and never own a business, traits like friendship will get you--and America--nowhere, I hope that you have taken that--and only that--from this month's competition. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.
Without further ado my totals:
Parking in Seattle: $5.00 (split 3 ways)
Being racist: $0.00
Winning this competition: $0.00
Not getting my car fixed (when I should have): $0.00
Subtotal: $5.00
Competition total: $96.01
Yes, you read it right, I spent less during the whole month than Lindsey did in week 2 of this competition. To celebrate my win, I need to come up with either: A. A way to punish the loser, or B: A gift from the loser. I have no idea what to choose for either option as Lindsey has blatantly refused to speak with a Vietnamese FOB accent for a week--something about alienating her family and friends?--and I have no other ideas. Do me a favor readers and offer up some suggestions, killing two birds with one stone here; I figure this will help us know if anyone is actually reading the blog, and it will solve my problem of having a non-creative mind when it comes to the reward/punishment.
I'm sure this has been the least I have ever spent in a month and I am looking forward to doing normal people things like going to movies, eating at restaurants, and driving places without worrying how many miles I have til I have to fill the tank; speaking of which, I hope you all noticed that my cheating competitor listed $0.00 for gas this entire month--is she now driving a turbine or nuclear reactor powered car? I don't know, I think it's more likely she cheated though. I suppose I can't blame her for not playing by the rules it's what her people do, See: Pearl Harbor bombing, driving, Genghis Khan, and Khmer Rouge for just a few (small) examples. Is this kind of spending sustainable, by either of us? That is an emphatic hell no; however, we are both trained in case someone challenges us to a "who can spend less" competition ever again--this will never happen.
Final money saving tip of the week (you get a 2fer this week): Save your bar soap slivers and putting them all in the mesh bag you get onions in. I take my old bar of soap and smash it into my new bar of soap, but saving the slivers so you can reconstitute it with other bars. Annnd, Macdonald's throws away lots of food they don't sell. A garbage bag full of fries is an instant party. You're welcome.
I'm not going to spice this up with anything clever, or witty, I just want to say that I kicked Lindsey's ass. Unless she managed to spend negative money in the last week or so, she lost. To her supporters: You all knew the faster horse in this race would be me--you knew it, no need to lie to be nice--yet you still voted for the loser. What drives people to do this? This is the kind of lying to ourselves that put America in a recession in the first place. Do yourselves a favor and never own a business, traits like friendship will get you--and America--nowhere, I hope that you have taken that--and only that--from this month's competition. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.
Without further ado my totals:
Parking in Seattle: $5.00 (split 3 ways)
Being racist: $0.00
Winning this competition: $0.00
Not getting my car fixed (when I should have): $0.00
Subtotal: $5.00
Competition total: $96.01
Yes, you read it right, I spent less during the whole month than Lindsey did in week 2 of this competition. To celebrate my win, I need to come up with either: A. A way to punish the loser, or B: A gift from the loser. I have no idea what to choose for either option as Lindsey has blatantly refused to speak with a Vietnamese FOB accent for a week--something about alienating her family and friends?--and I have no other ideas. Do me a favor readers and offer up some suggestions, killing two birds with one stone here; I figure this will help us know if anyone is actually reading the blog, and it will solve my problem of having a non-creative mind when it comes to the reward/punishment.
I'm sure this has been the least I have ever spent in a month and I am looking forward to doing normal people things like going to movies, eating at restaurants, and driving places without worrying how many miles I have til I have to fill the tank; speaking of which, I hope you all noticed that my cheating competitor listed $0.00 for gas this entire month--is she now driving a turbine or nuclear reactor powered car? I don't know, I think it's more likely she cheated though. I suppose I can't blame her for not playing by the rules it's what her people do, See: Pearl Harbor bombing, driving, Genghis Khan, and Khmer Rouge for just a few (small) examples. Is this kind of spending sustainable, by either of us? That is an emphatic hell no; however, we are both trained in case someone challenges us to a "who can spend less" competition ever again--this will never happen.
Final money saving tip of the week (you get a 2fer this week): Save your bar soap slivers and putting them all in the mesh bag you get onions in. I take my old bar of soap and smash it into my new bar of soap, but saving the slivers so you can reconstitute it with other bars. Annnd, Macdonald's throws away lots of food they don't sell. A garbage bag full of fries is an instant party. You're welcome.
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