Jeez, You Say It Like Pathological Computer Use Is A Bad Thing....

Facebook post from me to Ryan today: "Just dropping in to tell you I think I may have turned a corner here on our challenge. Totally not even stressing anymore about any (all) info I'm missing. Really glad I found "Chicken Soup for the Internet Addicted Soul". (could you check my eBay for me? thanks)"

Well. This is pretttttty much true. Yes, I have an eBay account, that is true. Yes, Ryan has been checking on various items I'm trying to win (you can go ahead and ask him how many vintage blazers does one person need? He'll say a lot). Have I turned the proverbial corner on my challenge? I mean...to the tune of 80% certainty: sure.(said weakly and non-convincingly)

I kind of feel like this is the hardest challenge I've done so far. I think I would rather do another Recession Challenge than this challenge again. It's not so much that I'm, you know, ADDICTED to the computer, it's that I'm on frequently to check my email for any job prospects, catch up with friends via Faceboo---uh oh. It sounds like I'm knee deep in Stage 4 of Recovery: denial and excuse-making.

Hm. At this rate I should be heading into resentment and relapse tomorrow, and acceptance and abstinence by Friday. Perfect! (I can not WAIT for this Saturday when our challenge ends and I can go on an internet bender).

Until then: a cat throw up video.

1) The NSFL (Not Safe For Life). As it is with these cat throw up videos, I always end up with more questions than answers.
Is there some sort of silent human-animal communication going on that dude knew his cat would hurl 11 seconds after commencing videotaping? (which leads me to: do people ACTUALLY get this bored?)
Doesn't that guy sound like Rob Dyrdek?
Dude let out the most defeated, can't-be-bothered-with-this/totally-over-it sigh at the end of the video, I have no doubt that the cat vom pile stayed there for a day (or 6).
Is anyone able to watch this twice? If so, you're a better man/woman/hybrid than I.

Day 3: Freefalling Into Dilated Pupils, Goosebumps, Watery Eyes, Tremors, Panic Attacks and Insomnia....

1) Is it sad/strange I know the symptoms of heroin withdrawal without having to look it up? (HI MOM!!)

2) Reaaaaallly having a tough time filling my time without my trusty sidekick, Eva. (that's my laptops name).

3)How tough? I have completed my Christmas shopping for the season. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. This has reached epic proportions and I actually asked Ryan if I could forfeit the challenge last night. Strangely (probably because he's being "nice") he talked me off the ledge. You don't want to know the corrupt and humiliating things I'd for AN HOUR of internet time right now. It all seemed so easy 3(!!!) days ago.

4) Ryan is getting nicer by the minute and turning into everyone's golden child wonder boy, while I am struggling to see what the benefits are of MY challenge. More time to clean my bathroom floor with a toothbrush, or organize the kids clothes alphabetically by brand name?

5) I did pick up a new book today, however. It's called 'Push', which the new movie that is killing it in the box office and reviews 'Precious' is based off of. (I'm only going to assume it's "killing it" in the reviews as I CAN'T LOOK IT UP TO VERIFY).

6) Benjamin Button Kitty Vom. MAN do we have to wait FOREVER (:26 seconds) to see any sort of action on this vid. Which begs the question: Why was Whiskers being videotaped in the first place? Did the owner KNOW it was going to hurl? If so, how? And if they didn't know, dear god...WHY videotape your cat sitting there? It's not like you own a puma or a Bermese Mountain Lion. It's a cat. It's sitting there. Save your batteries, man!

Day 2: Segwaying Into Agitation, Anxiety, Muscle Aches, Runny Nose and Sweating...

I wonder what's going on in the world? 30 minutes is CLEARLY not enough time to really get a good grasp on things. I spent about 15 minutes reading this morning about 'Where The Wild Things Are' and 'This Is It' ticket sales in the box office. I need to be more efficient with my sites. Zooming in, gathering pertinent information, making mental notes (What is the stock market doing? Should I start storing large bills under my mattress? What's Kim Kardashian up to today?) and zooming out. (Too listless to even make a 'that's what he said' joke)

Seeing as how the majority of my communication with my friends are via instant messenger, Facebook and email - this is proving to be most difficult. I feel like EVERY one of my friends (spanning 3 states and 2 times zones, I'm a regular Carmen Sandiego) are planning to meet up at a secret location to party and dance the night away, and I will be the only one not there due to not getting the important message via internet. If this is the case may I just add something: I HOPE THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER COMES AND RUINS ALL THE FUN YOU ALL ARE HAVING.

Really having a hard time. I hope Ryan yelled at someone today. That'll perk me up.

Sticking to my word in logging off (my calling card so to speak!) each post with a cat throw up video.

1)The Model. This cat never actually voms, however you wouldn’t know it judging by his reaction to these common household human foods.

Canadian LinzO and Ryan

Ryan! Ry!!! Look! It's like the canadian, male, ugly version of us! (or are we just the american, co-ed, better looking version of them?)
Either way, Kenny v. Spenny - First One To Be Mean Loses

Day 1.5: Moving Onto Nausea, Vomiting, Diarrhea, Chills, Tears

I'm going to need to get a hobby. For real. This is ridiculous.
WEBS!!! WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE?!?!
Also I told Ryan I'm going to sign off every blog post with a cat throw up video (which means we should either see a huge spike or severe drop in readership).
Another thing: "nice" Ryan scares me.

1)The Cat Booty Dragger. Nice technique.

Day 1: Cold Turkey Heroin Withdrawal

Well this is going to be tough. I already used up my 30 minutes chatting with people on IM and not getting to CNN. What's going on today, world?! I dunno, guess I'll find out tomorrow. (this sucks)

November Challenge: The One Where We Try To Be Better At Life

Hey Trusty Readers!
It's been a little while, huh? I know, you probably thought Ryan and I had some horrible falling out and weren't speaking to each other anymore, thus letting the blog die a slow and painful web death. As much as the thought puts a smile to my face, we were actually using this time to come up with a new challenge for November!

OK ok ok, truth? THE TRUTH?!?! Ryan and I were sending Aerosmith our cover of "Walk This Way" since they are officially searching for a new lead singer to replace Steven Tyler after the band just got too sober and cognizant.

Now that's been sent (cross your fingers for us) we can concentrate on our November challenge. Ryan, as you saw below, is going to try to be.....nice. Before I tell you my challenge, can I just tell you how HILARIOUS the next 10 days is going to be for me, envisioning Ryan choking out nice words, armpit sweat forming when having to be part of conversations he doesn't want to be in and having to put a lid on his snark? I've know Ryan for...wow, going on 11 years now...and I would describe him as if the word 'surly' took a human form. I'm not quite sure how we managed to develop such a friendship. I can only surmise it's some form of Helsinki Syndrome (Stockholms more perplexing, scary, tone-deaf cousin). Ryan trying to be super nice on a daily basis is akin to watching Will Smith play a mentally retarded person for a movie. Ryan, you're Will freaking Smith and hearing you talk like a mentally retarded person is going to make us all laugh really, really, really hard.

Wait a minute, now I’m picturing it. And laughing out loud. Oh man, this is a sweet mental trailer-picture. "Nooo you do not have cankles! You look wonderful, is that a new culotte set?" Hehehehehe

So while Ryan is gathering up all his spare Snuggies in his house (~217) in order to avoid people/having to be nice, I'll be working on my own personal challenge. My personal November challenge is: 30 minutes of Internet a day. Whooooo, chile, I KNOW. I. KNOW. It's going to be hard. Super hard. I mean, I literally spend 4 hours on the computer a day. The kids go to sleep around 8pm, I'm a nightowl - do you know what that means? The world is at my fingertips in the form of Renaissance paintings, listening to classical concertos, and to ponder deep philosophical musings (with the occasional video (or 10) of dogs trying to escape blankets).

I think I have it broken down as such for the next 10 days:
* 10 minutes of CNN.com/World
* 10 minutes of Email
* 10 minutes of Facebook

I can't tell you how much pop culture related sites I'll be missing out on (more like WON'T tell you) but I will be sorely out of the loop for 10 days. If someone came up to me and told me Scott Baio and Jaleel White murdered Alf while Kirk Cameron filmed, I may think it was true.

If I go over 30 minutes in a day or Ryan says a single mean thing, that counts as a fail. Whoever has the most fails at the end, well...you know how it works.

Now if ya'll exsqueeeeze me I have about 11 videos of cats throwing up to look through. It's like you can almost will things into existance on the internet. Can I share 2 of them?

1) The Viral Vom. One could argue this was the cat puking video that started it all. It’s kittens, it’s vomit, it’s over 7 million views, and it is just so adorable.


2) The Slow Mo. If you close your eyes, it almost sounds like diving into a pool.


Galsh. I'm gonna miss you Interwebs. See you in 10 days! Wait for me...my...preciousssss.....