Ryan: I honestly miss the writing part. It was kinda tough, but it felt like an accomplishment
LinzO: I completely agree. When I posted a post I was like aaaaah success. Esp if it was a good one, 1/4 self-deprecating humor, 1/4 wit, 1/4 Ryan bashing...
Ryan: ...1/4 maths
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, November 30, 2009
MSN Moment of the Day
LinzO: So I think in January we should go all Freaky Friday for a day
Ryan: ?
LinzO: You know, like...switch lives? I have to go work (let's be real here, volunteer) somewhere for 4 hours and you need to go hang out with 2 kids for the day
LinzO: Which, surely someone you know has 2 kids they'd like a break from
Ryan: I'm not allowed to be within 150 feet of kids unsupervised.
Ryan: ?
LinzO: You know, like...switch lives? I have to go work (let's be real here, volunteer) somewhere for 4 hours and you need to go hang out with 2 kids for the day
LinzO: Which, surely someone you know has 2 kids they'd like a break from
Ryan: I'm not allowed to be within 150 feet of kids unsupervised.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Giving Spanks
Dear Ryan,
Thanks for being you. (also: I'm Oprah, you're Gayle. Don't ever forget that!)
Dear Blog Readers,
Thanks for following along and encouraging us on our endeavors. Would it be too much to ask to leave comments? Ryan and I have really low self-esteem so we need those on those nights where we're clutching our Cabbage Patch dolls and reverting back to thumb-sucking.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Thanks for being you. (also: I'm Oprah, you're Gayle. Don't ever forget that!)
Dear Blog Readers,
Thanks for following along and encouraging us on our endeavors. Would it be too much to ask to leave comments? Ryan and I have really low self-esteem so we need those on those nights where we're clutching our Cabbage Patch dolls and reverting back to thumb-sucking.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hey Guys! I love you! Yay for sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows!!!
No, the entire title of this entry is not a typo; I am a changed person! I swear!! (A lot, under my breath, at people who can't hear me--for the next 4 days). I guess, that upon looking at it, the title of this post makes me look like a fairy, and not just like the nice person I'm trying to be; ironically the former is exactly how I feel. I've taken being nice to a level that can't honestly be maintained by 99% of the earth's population. To the one percent who can maintain this honest level of nice, my hat's off to you; you're a patient, optimistic, kind, charitable, effing retard. So, nice work you Caspers of the living world, your uppins will come, just like they did for him.
In all of our previous competitions I have had definitive, well documented, advantages. Here's where this one goes awry: Throughout competition in my professional life it has behooved me to have a heart that's two sizes too small (think GOB from Arrrested Development), and to be apathetic to the plight of (all) others. Usually when Lindsey challenges me to something my first thought is, "Lindsey, your first mistake in thinking that you can compete with me is that you have a heart". I guess what I'm trying to say--in a less convoluted manner--is that I genuinely hate people, and this is tough.
Let me quickly list what idealistic Ryan hoped to gain from this competition:
-More friends
-Optimistic view--especially on the intelligence and compatibility of others as friends.
-Healthier outlook on own life
-People being mean to me (I feel like not nearly enough people are).
-A wife(?) What? Ten days should be enough right? Don't judge me.
Now, for what I have actually gained(?) from this competition:
-3 free meals--thanks guys!
-1 new friend that I may or may not care about, we'll see!
-Learned how to catch a feral rabbit and choke it to death, such a release! Thanks Miley Cyrus Rabbit, you'll be fondly remembered!
-Learned how to write "I hate you" in 17 different languages.
-Completely alienated all current friends to the point that they don't want to be around me anymore. This is fine, I really don't like them anyway, so yes, a gain.
Turns out that not many people like to be in the presence of nice Ryan. I guess I'm disappointed with my progress so far; however, I'm holding out hope that there will be some actual gain from this. I don't want this to be like the 31 times I've tried to start running as a daily routine only to throw up after the first 4-miler and swear it off--so much torture, no gain; you all know where I'm coming from on this. I'm not disappointed by my efforts though, I'm pretty sure I'm going to beat Lindsey handily in this comp.
Warning to all blog readers (my true friends): I will be going on what will be comparable to a steroid and meth induced Hulk rage the MINUTE this competition ends. I've commissioned an artist to depict what this will look like--he may have taken artistic liberties on my arms, but the rest is pretty accurate:
In all of our previous competitions I have had definitive, well documented, advantages. Here's where this one goes awry: Throughout competition in my professional life it has behooved me to have a heart that's two sizes too small (think GOB from Arrrested Development), and to be apathetic to the plight of (all) others. Usually when Lindsey challenges me to something my first thought is, "Lindsey, your first mistake in thinking that you can compete with me is that you have a heart". I guess what I'm trying to say--in a less convoluted manner--is that I genuinely hate people, and this is tough.
Let me quickly list what idealistic Ryan hoped to gain from this competition:
-More friends
-Optimistic view--especially on the intelligence and compatibility of others as friends.
-Healthier outlook on own life
-People being mean to me (I feel like not nearly enough people are).
-A wife(?) What? Ten days should be enough right? Don't judge me.
Now, for what I have actually gained(?) from this competition:
-3 free meals--thanks guys!
-1 new friend that I may or may not care about, we'll see!
-Learned how to catch a feral rabbit and choke it to death, such a release! Thanks Miley Cyrus Rabbit, you'll be fondly remembered!
-Learned how to write "I hate you" in 17 different languages.
-Completely alienated all current friends to the point that they don't want to be around me anymore. This is fine, I really don't like them anyway, so yes, a gain.
Turns out that not many people like to be in the presence of nice Ryan. I guess I'm disappointed with my progress so far; however, I'm holding out hope that there will be some actual gain from this. I don't want this to be like the 31 times I've tried to start running as a daily routine only to throw up after the first 4-miler and swear it off--so much torture, no gain; you all know where I'm coming from on this. I'm not disappointed by my efforts though, I'm pretty sure I'm going to beat Lindsey handily in this comp.
Warning to all blog readers (my true friends): I will be going on what will be comparable to a steroid and meth induced Hulk rage the MINUTE this competition ends. I've commissioned an artist to depict what this will look like--he may have taken artistic liberties on my arms, but the rest is pretty accurate:
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Jeez, You Say It Like Pathological Computer Use Is A Bad Thing....
Facebook post from me to Ryan today: "Just dropping in to tell you I think I may have turned a corner here on our challenge. Totally not even stressing anymore about any (all) info I'm missing. Really glad I found "Chicken Soup for the Internet Addicted Soul". (could you check my eBay for me? thanks)"
Well. This is pretttttty much true. Yes, I have an eBay account, that is true. Yes, Ryan has been checking on various items I'm trying to win (you can go ahead and ask him how many vintage blazers does one person need? He'll say a lot). Have I turned the proverbial corner on my challenge? I mean...to the tune of 80% certainty: sure.(said weakly and non-convincingly)
I kind of feel like this is the hardest challenge I've done so far. I think I would rather do another Recession Challenge than this challenge again. It's not so much that I'm, you know, ADDICTED to the computer, it's that I'm on frequently to check my email for any job prospects, catch up with friends via Faceboo---uh oh. It sounds like I'm knee deep in Stage 4 of Recovery: denial and excuse-making.
Hm. At this rate I should be heading into resentment and relapse tomorrow, and acceptance and abstinence by Friday. Perfect! (I can not WAIT for this Saturday when our challenge ends and I can go on an internet bender).
Until then: a cat throw up video.
1) The NSFL (Not Safe For Life). As it is with these cat throw up videos, I always end up with more questions than answers.
Is there some sort of silent human-animal communication going on that dude knew his cat would hurl 11 seconds after commencing videotaping? (which leads me to: do people ACTUALLY get this bored?)
Doesn't that guy sound like Rob Dyrdek?
Dude let out the most defeated, can't-be-bothered-with-this/totally-over-it sigh at the end of the video, I have no doubt that the cat vom pile stayed there for a day (or 6).
Is anyone able to watch this twice? If so, you're a better man/woman/hybrid than I.
Well. This is pretttttty much true. Yes, I have an eBay account, that is true. Yes, Ryan has been checking on various items I'm trying to win (you can go ahead and ask him how many vintage blazers does one person need? He'll say a lot). Have I turned the proverbial corner on my challenge? I mean...to the tune of 80% certainty: sure.(said weakly and non-convincingly)
I kind of feel like this is the hardest challenge I've done so far. I think I would rather do another Recession Challenge than this challenge again. It's not so much that I'm, you know, ADDICTED to the computer, it's that I'm on frequently to check my email for any job prospects, catch up with friends via Faceboo---uh oh. It sounds like I'm knee deep in Stage 4 of Recovery: denial and excuse-making.
Hm. At this rate I should be heading into resentment and relapse tomorrow, and acceptance and abstinence by Friday. Perfect! (I can not WAIT for this Saturday when our challenge ends and I can go on an internet bender).
Until then: a cat throw up video.
1) The NSFL (Not Safe For Life). As it is with these cat throw up videos, I always end up with more questions than answers.
Is there some sort of silent human-animal communication going on that dude knew his cat would hurl 11 seconds after commencing videotaping? (which leads me to: do people ACTUALLY get this bored?)
Doesn't that guy sound like Rob Dyrdek?
Dude let out the most defeated, can't-be-bothered-with-this/totally-over-it sigh at the end of the video, I have no doubt that the cat vom pile stayed there for a day (or 6).
Is anyone able to watch this twice? If so, you're a better man/woman/hybrid than I.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Day 3: Freefalling Into Dilated Pupils, Goosebumps, Watery Eyes, Tremors, Panic Attacks and Insomnia....
1) Is it sad/strange I know the symptoms of heroin withdrawal without having to look it up? (HI MOM!!)
2) Reaaaaallly having a tough time filling my time without my trusty sidekick, Eva. (that's my laptops name).
3)How tough? I have completed my Christmas shopping for the season. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. This has reached epic proportions and I actually asked Ryan if I could forfeit the challenge last night. Strangely (probably because he's being "nice") he talked me off the ledge. You don't want to know the corrupt and humiliating things I'd for AN HOUR of internet time right now. It all seemed so easy 3(!!!) days ago.
4) Ryan is getting nicer by the minute and turning into everyone's golden child wonder boy, while I am struggling to see what the benefits are of MY challenge. More time to clean my bathroom floor with a toothbrush, or organize the kids clothes alphabetically by brand name?
5) I did pick up a new book today, however. It's called 'Push', which the new movie that is killing it in the box office and reviews 'Precious' is based off of. (I'm only going to assume it's "killing it" in the reviews as I CAN'T LOOK IT UP TO VERIFY).
6) Benjamin Button Kitty Vom. MAN do we have to wait FOREVER (:26 seconds) to see any sort of action on this vid. Which begs the question: Why was Whiskers being videotaped in the first place? Did the owner KNOW it was going to hurl? If so, how? And if they didn't know, dear god...WHY videotape your cat sitting there? It's not like you own a puma or a Bermese Mountain Lion. It's a cat. It's sitting there. Save your batteries, man!
2) Reaaaaallly having a tough time filling my time without my trusty sidekick, Eva. (that's my laptops name).
3)How tough? I have completed my Christmas shopping for the season. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. This has reached epic proportions and I actually asked Ryan if I could forfeit the challenge last night. Strangely (probably because he's being "nice") he talked me off the ledge. You don't want to know the corrupt and humiliating things I'd for AN HOUR of internet time right now. It all seemed so easy 3(!!!) days ago.
4) Ryan is getting nicer by the minute and turning into everyone's golden child wonder boy, while I am struggling to see what the benefits are of MY challenge. More time to clean my bathroom floor with a toothbrush, or organize the kids clothes alphabetically by brand name?
5) I did pick up a new book today, however. It's called 'Push', which the new movie that is killing it in the box office and reviews 'Precious' is based off of. (I'm only going to assume it's "killing it" in the reviews as I CAN'T LOOK IT UP TO VERIFY).
6) Benjamin Button Kitty Vom. MAN do we have to wait FOREVER (:26 seconds) to see any sort of action on this vid. Which begs the question: Why was Whiskers being videotaped in the first place? Did the owner KNOW it was going to hurl? If so, how? And if they didn't know, dear god...WHY videotape your cat sitting there? It's not like you own a puma or a Bermese Mountain Lion. It's a cat. It's sitting there. Save your batteries, man!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day 2: Segwaying Into Agitation, Anxiety, Muscle Aches, Runny Nose and Sweating...
I wonder what's going on in the world? 30 minutes is CLEARLY not enough time to really get a good grasp on things. I spent about 15 minutes reading this morning about 'Where The Wild Things Are' and 'This Is It' ticket sales in the box office. I need to be more efficient with my sites. Zooming in, gathering pertinent information, making mental notes (What is the stock market doing? Should I start storing large bills under my mattress? What's Kim Kardashian up to today?) and zooming out. (Too listless to even make a 'that's what he said' joke)
Seeing as how the majority of my communication with my friends are via instant messenger, Facebook and email - this is proving to be most difficult. I feel like EVERY one of my friends (spanning 3 states and 2 times zones, I'm a regular Carmen Sandiego) are planning to meet up at a secret location to party and dance the night away, and I will be the only one not there due to not getting the important message via internet. If this is the case may I just add something: I HOPE THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER COMES AND RUINS ALL THE FUN YOU ALL ARE HAVING.
Really having a hard time. I hope Ryan yelled at someone today. That'll perk me up.
Sticking to my word in logging off (my calling card so to speak!) each post with a cat throw up video.
1)The Model. This cat never actually voms, however you wouldn’t know it judging by his reaction to these common household human foods.
Seeing as how the majority of my communication with my friends are via instant messenger, Facebook and email - this is proving to be most difficult. I feel like EVERY one of my friends (spanning 3 states and 2 times zones, I'm a regular Carmen Sandiego) are planning to meet up at a secret location to party and dance the night away, and I will be the only one not there due to not getting the important message via internet. If this is the case may I just add something: I HOPE THE CLOVERFIELD MONSTER COMES AND RUINS ALL THE FUN YOU ALL ARE HAVING.
Really having a hard time. I hope Ryan yelled at someone today. That'll perk me up.
Sticking to my word in logging off (my calling card so to speak!) each post with a cat throw up video.
1)The Model. This cat never actually voms, however you wouldn’t know it judging by his reaction to these common household human foods.
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